fat times

There is a rhubarb thief in Langton, Ontario

2007-06-22T11:36:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted something so much you could taste it? Well that is how it was with me and the rhubarb pie. I was looking forward all week to having enough rhubarb to make a pie for the weekend.

It was a cool Friday morning and I had all my ingredients and tools assembled on the counter... pastry mat tolling pin mising boweks measureing cups and spoons, sugar, flour, shortening, vinegar, butter, salt.... I was set and ready to go all I needed to do was go walk out back with my trusty kitchen sheers and cut the Rhubarb.... Imagine my surprise when I discovered that someone else had helped themselves to it. Someone got enough Rhubarb off of the plant to make a pie but that someone was not from this house. Yes folks there is a Rhubarb thief in Langton, Ontario and since considering Rhubarb is used to make a CONFECTION I sincerely DOUBT they needed it more than we do and I sincerely hope you figuratively choke on it!

To the Rhubarb thief of Langton Ontario:
Next time you feel the need to steal our rhubarb come inside and get the pastry that I had sitting on the counter at the time and save yourself some work.....
Oh hell, why don't you just wait the extra hour for me to bake the pie and just take that and save yourself all the damn work!

Last night I get this email from an attorney that a someone died and I am next of kin and he needs to snail mail me some paperwork.

2007-02-27T14:28:00.000-05:00

It has been a whirl wind couple of days here in the FAT house. It is the kind of week where you try to rob Peter to pay Paul only to find Peter has already been robbed,

THEN DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Last night I get this email from an attorney that a someone died and I am next of kin and he needs to snail mail me some paperwork. He wants to verify my identity and address.....

I know I know you are all laughing but don't be so quick to judge.....

The attorney, Neil is a cousin of my fathers and the woman that died is a cousin to both of us. I had to think about this, Jean is my first cousin 2 generations removed.

BUT Don't go and get all slap happy yet......

I called cousin Neil today....

I am not actually in this will or anything but as a known surviving relative he needs to send me paperwork as an interested party.... *eye roll*

What I believe this translates to is that he spent a whole lot of time searching me down online and is going to bill the estate for it.

I will have to see what he is sending me, he may be the attorney of record here but my daughters Trust Attorney is a friend of the deceased (who incidentally knows where I am and how to contact me) and I will not hesitate to call him if I feel the attorney of record has abused any powers long lost cousin or not.

The good news is.... there were some pictures of my parents amongst the deceased effects and Neil volunteered to burn them to disk for me and will send them with the said paperwork.

And as another mutual cousin would have said...... "That my dear is the scoop on the poop!"

MY V.D. a.k.a. Snow Blow and Flow...

2007-02-15T09:34:00.000-05:00

That has been my day. The snow was terrible last night and the roads were drifted over when fb went to work to fill the wood furnace he said he barely made it back. Well he should have left early to plough but didn't.... still I got up at 4am so his decision could not be pinned on me.

Needless to say I went back to bed after he left I was really feeling punk. Well he came home about 10:30am frozen and soaked to the bone. I threw his clothes and coats in the dryer and tried to get him warm. Then having the van I went to get something for lunch lime juice and a loaf of bread but only having $10 and he wanted Fritos there went my lunch *eye roll* so I made him share the Fritos which of course he grumbled.

I noticed a slight leak that I thought was from the roof when I left. While we were eating the Fritos TWO pipes in my ceiling gave way and I was dumping buckets while fb was turning off the water THANK GOD HE CAME HOME COLD!

fatboy then used this opportunity to get me to clean the entire house before calling the landlord.... So I cleaned the house stashed the 3 out of 4 cats and moved the rats from view. fb came home at 4 went and told the Landlord who tried to turn it around on us just like I said he would.... then he came by but fb ended up fixing it or we would still be without water. being 6'8" does have it's advantages he could fix it without a ladder.

They used a combination of fb's tools and the landlords tools and the landlords son came by to defend us. The pipes that burst weren't even in use and the thermostat was wet 8 degrees Celsius above the landlords posted minimum. What a crappy wet day I have glued down rugs in my kitchen I can't even pull up although I was able to pull the mat that got the most of it.

I was able to heat up Tofu Italian Casserole from last night for an easy dinner but having missed LUNCH I am still hungry. IF I wasn't trying to be good I would bake some cookies. If I wasn't so tired I might give in and do it.... I had better not make any coffee....LOL

Confession time: I ended up with about 1/3 cup of semi sweet chips and some hard sourdough Bavarian Pretzels I had stashed when fatboy went to fill the furnace at 10:30pm

They are glued to the floor I can't pull them I have beem putting towels over them and walking on them then washing the towels.

My friend Cyberpawz said: "Make sure have those rugs replaced, mold and mildew is bad for humans, it's deadly to rats and pets in general."

To which I replied: My landlord needs to rent me a dryer but he is a cheap ass bastard so it isn't going to happen. I had to explain that we needed to wait a few days to put back the ceiling tiles or the insulation would mold. Fatboy is going to do it for him but he didn't even bring enough tiles so not only is he a cheap ass bastard.... but he CAN'T COUNT either!

How we went from Ruby Red Slippers to Red High Heels.
2007-01-22T18:19:00.003-05:00
Many of us have been in the "Ruby Red Slipper group" at one time or another but because we left at different times not everyone knows how we grew into our Red High Heels.

Last summer I found myself co-managing a group with several fine ladies and a "wizard" suffering from narcissism. Several of the members and management of the "Ruby Red Slipper" group of had very serious things going on, a tragic accident in the family, a battle with cancer, battles with severe depression and anxiety, a spouse with bi-polar disorder refusing medication, a recent widow and more. There was a reason each and every member of the "Ruby Red Slipper" group sought out a support group. As time went on more and more attention was focused upon the problems of the narcissistic wizard and the wizards search for a new castle in another land.

One day while looking for new and better backgrounds and websets to make the "Ruby Red Slipper group" a better place I clicked a magical link placed at the bottom of the page by none other than the wizard, this link took me to the other side of the rainbow to a very special group - THE PSP CLIQUE. I didn't know what this special place was until I joined and then I found out it was ran by none other than our very own Shamaness. When I was accepted I noticed the wizard was a member there as well but as soon as I posted a friendly hello I noticed the wizard vanished in a cloud of dust. As the magic wizard dust faded away I knew our relationship was forever changed and that my days in the "Ruby Red Slipper group" were numbered.

The thing with the "Ruby Red Slipper group" is that the wizard feels she owns everything and everyone and if you leave you have to leave your friends and all the support there, both given and received behind. That is a policy I never agreed with and a policy that kept me from accepting the management position that was offered to me for over a year.

I knew it was over, I also wanted to maintain contacts so two days later I used the group management settings to email a very respectful announcement of resignation quoting Ecclesiastes 3 and offering my contact information for anyone interested. I tried to send this though the system three times and three times it did not go through I took this as a sign from God that I was to see this thing through to the end. God does not bring us to it if he will not bring us though it. So I waited, and continued my management duties. Several times I sat down to write a letter of questioning the concept of ministry letter to the wizard but I felt led to avoid all confrontation, so this letter was never finished or sent.

Two weeks later another manager and I logged on to find an announcement that we had been removed from management. (emails followed but we discovered this online first) I didn't comment but the other manager confronted this unprofessional tactic and resigned. I didn't comment or resign as I was still feeling led to see this all though to the end. I made sure there was absolutely NO confrontation and that I said nothing questionable. Anyone that knows me knows that although I know how to vent, "act up" and "cut a fuss" I also can put on a very professional hat and walk the narrow line. It didn't matter several of my straight up narrow line posts were removed, and I was put on MODERATION. Unless someone was sitting online when all of this happened they had only one story to listen to, the one that the wizard was spinning.

The intent was to silence me not censor me but the wizard forgot to share that with her one remaining manager so when the wizard returned she discovered about 30 of my TOTALLY APPROPRIATE posts were approved. there was a Christian music thread and my final "Ruby Red Slipper group" post was the lyrics to Casting Crowns IF WE ARE THE BODY.

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveller is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgemental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

Chorus (2x)
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus is the way

I was BANNED.

If I had to be banned for a post.... heck yea I'll stand on that one!

Within a couple of hours the "Ruby Red Slipper group" was closed, claiming that after 6 years the stress of putting the group in the hands of the two ladies that were putting their all into it making all it could be was too much for the wizard to handle blah blah blab.... All just a wizard tale as the group reopened 48 hours later to only those who would never question the power of the wizard. This was a pattern that the wizard has done thrice before.

For many of us the Ruby Red Slipper story would end there.....

...but there was so much mess to clean up, There were women left locked on the outside, needing support, crying, some hurt by the only thing they thought they could trust in years. When a wizard uses labels such as support and or ministry in their description members are led to trust in ways they might not otherwise. Although not the wizard, I was left to answer for all she had done and to try and heal the wounds she inflected. Shortly after I received word that the "Ruby Red Slipper group" was gone my phone rang. It was a call of great distress from one who had all of her trust in a group that was gone, this woman called from a full blown anxiety attack, She was curled up on the floor when she saw my number on her bulletin board and called, She was crying and said I had to help her to pull it together before her husband got home in an hour, or he would shut off her internet for sure. In the course of the conversation I explained that it was not the wizard or the "Ruby Red Slippers" that were her support but the MEMBERS themselves and at that point I knew I had to pack up our toys and move to a new sandbox. I had the group up and running later that night, Mama right by my side helping every step of the way. The Shamaness was there too and very helpful as well, after taking her usual three days in bed with a headache and hives to recover from the whole ordeal. We took some time to re-group and heal before opening to the public.

Now God's Big Sandbox is a top group gaining members each week never locked and we walk proud and strong just like Kellie Pickler in her Red High Heels!

A diamond in the rough

2006-10-14T10:24:00.000-04:00

HER STORY: She was picked up in a cucumber patch this summer by a family of five migrant workers when she wandered up to the cucumber picker on the farm. The workers are not taking her back to Mexico. She is EXTREMELY people friendly and playful (but plays rough) and was very terrified of my three cats. This has improved over the 6 days she has been here. No one is friends but they are tolerant of each other for the most part. They are now all eating from the same dishes and using the same shitter. She understands both German and English She is a real sweety, she is used to children ranging from 10 on up. Since getting here she has shown no interest in the outdoors and she has been happy eating dry cat food (Whiskas). But I think they fed her everything as she steals peanut butter sandwiches and watermelon. She is a lap cat with great markings and medium length hair. My husband insisted we re-home her A.S.A.P. but when I found her a good home he refused to part with her, Claiming SABRINA will love her.

CLICK FOR LARGER VIEW:

Miss me? Heck.... even I missed me!

2006-09-04T10:24:00.000-04:00

Where I have been....

I was targeted for an attack in an online ministry I was helping to run and ended up on the outside looking in.... God as my witness I did none of the things I was banned for.....LOL she banned me for foolish quarrelling and I ignored each and every FOOLISH email she sent. There were NO argument or quarrels...LOL unless she was arguing with herself.....

Like so many group owners online, this one, "A" is a nothing but vindictive jealous control freak who chose to tear apart my friends in a way to get at me. If "A" wanted me gone for those made up paranoid delusions she had in her head, she could have just BANNED ME and I would have been gone, I would have been content to just stay on the rat boards and in the PSP group I had found and just play with the tags. Tags like the banner at the bottom of the page..... I have found I like making tags. But no, she had to pull yet another of her stupid dramatic closings, leaving folks stuck with their mouths hanging wide open... She did the same thing when I was homeless and living in that barn only I was still on the inside that time.

The worse case, was a member she whom she had promised there would always be a HSH , this is a member that had credited HSH with SAVING HER LIFE, a member who suffers from PTSD, a member from Canada who because "A" is too cheap to make a 3-way call, this was a member had my phone number as I had made the 3 way call to her... After she saw the HSH is closing it's doors after 6 years this woman was on the floor in a fetal position when she looked up and say my number on her bulletin board and called me screaming "How can she do this? She is a Ministry she can't just close her doors!" and that she had to gain control in the next 45 min or her husband would pull the plug in the Internet. Needless to say I did talk her down (with the help of her meds) Her husband was a little late that night.... He was surprising her with a new computer.... Can you imagine his reaction had he come home with a brand new computer to find his wife on the floor in a fill blown anxiety attack over pain she had suffered online? I don't even want to think about THAT. (Not to mention my husband who had never witnessed me in full crisis consoler mode, he was even a good boy and did not make one smart alek remark while I was on the phone) SHE is the reason I am now running a MSN group called Gods Big Sandbox, because she needed a safe place on the net to regain her trust, and she needed it immediately . She is doing much better now. PTL. Splits don't always go the way the splitter planned... Including myself I have ALL THREE of the HSH managers, leaving A to run her group alone.

As a matter of fact her kids and grandkids are in Ontario she and her husband are flew in from NEWFOUNDLAND and fatboy and I are had supper with them on Tuesday.

Right now our goal is to maintain our front page activity listing so we can get more members and each of us will then have to post less to stay there. We should be top 5 but there is a glitch in the system that is keeping us mid-page. When this is cleared up we will be placing about where HSH is in the listings so the other members will have the CHOICE to follow us. There is no being in 2 groups with "A" she is just too threatened by that. I ask no one to choose I am just an available choice. We will get them all in time (well the ones we want anyway). When we top her in the ranks she will complain to everyone and that will make them come check us out...LOL LOL LOL It is a Christian based group but it is really more about having fun I an trying to keep the things that might put folks "off" on threads they can choose not to look at. We had a retired (cuups) minister Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans join us the other day so it is bound to be a fun group.

Come give us a lookie-loo.... LOL if you decide to join in the fun there I have a shovel waiting for you!

one potato, two potato, three potato...

2006-07-26T10:57:00.000-04:00

So the FATman comes home early yesterday due to the storms driving him out of the fields. He was starving and I am not accustomed to feeding him supper at the mid afternoon hour of 3:15pm.

You would never know that each morning I send this man off for the day with 4 sandwiches (2 meat, cheese and veggie wraps and 2 peanut butter and whatever else is handy sandwiches on whole or cracked wheat bread) 125gm (about 4 oz) of chips and at least three pieces of fruit. FATman comes in and hits the lunch meat, then grabs the peanut butter, honey and bread makes several sandwiches. That not being enough to fill him, he microwaves a package of hot dogs eating 9/12 on bread with the trimmings. The jokes that he does not need dinner fell upon deaf ears so a couple of hours later I made him 2 half pound burgers with cheese, tomato, onion, lettuce, mayo and catsup (and yes I fed him first as the Forman only holds 2 super burgs) 2 baked potatoes with chives and sour cream.................................................

My point and I DO have one, IS the man that complains when we don't have sour cream suddenly complains that he only likes his baked potatoes with butter and salt. So I repossessed potato #2 and gave him one of mine with just butter and salt which he didn't eat either..... So there MUST be a bottom to the PIT SOMEWHERE...

GOD FORBID he just be full....

Oh and BTW the two thin slices onions on the half pound hamburgers made him sick... because he sure DIDN'T EAT TOO MUCH! Well whatever... he slept it off. It's "funny" how his clothes keep shrinking *eye roll* even being washed in cold water and being hung to dry...

Sun of a beach on Sunday...

2006-07-17T07:51:00.000-04:00

Fatboy and I decided to beat the heat yesterday We put our swimsuits, then dressed accordingly. I added a spaghetti strap summer top and skirt for kind of the BBW version of a dressy cover and Sarong (OK so it didn't tie, but you know the look) and tFg added his rayon shirt.... it is always so easy for guys, his swim trunks are more dressy than the shorts he owns...LOL.
We hit our local Chinese Buffet haunt as I had promised him lunch and I needed the bank machine and drug store Tillsonburg anyway. (does your back still ache?) Then it was off to the beach in Port Burwell. We sat on our air conditioned van and looked at the water. Then we drove up along Lakeshore Road and looked at all the windmills

We then went to the beach at Turkey Point (have you ever seen a turkey point?) It sure was crowded... a 7 min wait in line at the washroom there was all the time I needed outside the air conditioned van to know that I didn't even want to know how cold Lake Erie was going to feel in all this heat. A ride through the country home and we needed an afternoon nap top recover from all of this excitement. That was my Sunday in the sun.

I am fed up with stupid people.

2006-07-09T10:54:00.000-04:00

GAH!!!! I am fed up with stupid people.

Ok my friend wants to send me some $$ as a thank you for something I did for her... All well and good... She wants me to have complete control over this as it is a gift for me (and not for fb... I understand that)

She asks if I can take a check... UMM no (even though I should be on the bank account by then a check still has the hold factor... kind of hard to hid that with all the online banking these days) So she wants to send cash.... not only is US cash a hassle it is not worth the risk of being snagged internationally in customs as it is not traceable. I tell her she has three viable options.

A Mastercard gift card (available at most banks),

Paypal (yes she uses Paypal, heck she bought her "Florida car" on E-bay)

or making a cash deposit into my US bank account, which is local for her, as a last resort.

So what is she doing? She is sending me a Money Order (not even a cashiers check) which is going to be as much hassle internationally as a personal check. He bank told her they wouldn't put a hold on it.... They don't know!!!! Even my US bank even puts a hold on Money Orders and how is a Canadian bank going to know if a US Money Order is legitimate (and our branch of this Canadian bank seems to be picky about everything)

Why can't my friends realize I know more about living in Canada (and with fb) then they do. I know what is going to happen I am going to end up having to MAIL this money order back to my bank in Michigan which is still a crap shoot as far as fb is concerned, as I will bring up my account for him online if he asks.... (it is just rare for him to do so) but with the added stress of this van who knows.... With a Mastercard gift card it does not show up anywhere WHICH IS WHAT SHE WANTED. I don't know why she just couldn't take my word for this.

I know I sound ungrateful but this is really not worth the hassle it is going to bring me. I am thinking the Mastercard gift cards may not be available in the "small amount" she wants to send which makes the hassle even less worth while. BTW what I did for her took about 4 hours of my undivided attention and there is still more to do.

the SABRINA post

2006-07-09T09:15:00.000-04:00

I wrote this in Feb when my friend got guff for being proud of her daughter on MySpace.... it seems others from her daughters peer group thought the atta-girl was inappropriate. Sabrina has since graduated with a 4.02GPA High Honours, Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude and the Spanish department award. It was a wonder she could walk in her cap and gown with all the extra stuff she was decorated with.
______________________________________________________________
I am proud of my daughter DAMN PROUD and nothing anyone says anywhere on MySpace or anywhere else is ever going to change that .

Eleven years ago I found myself newly divorced and moving into a trailer park on EIGHT MILE ROAD.... Yes all you lurkers... it is the same EIGHT MILE ROAD that the EMINEM movie was about. We are Detroit biaches and there is nothing wrong with that. I chose that little one bedroom trailer on Eight Mile road because it was something I could afford. There were better apartments that were the same price or even cheaper but they were not in school districts that I wanted to raise my little girl in. Even in the middle of first grade I understood the investment we were making in her education. I explained to her then that life for her was going to be different, that she would be going to a University and she would be able to work the career of her choosing. That she would never have to wipe ass, wait tables or do light assembly to merely get by.

To all you ass wipers, wait staff and factory workers lurking; this was not said or written to put you down, it was said to build my daughter up.... if wiping ass waiting tables or doing grunt assembly work was your Mama's ideal for you more power to you and to her.

A few years later God opened a door to a rental program in even a better school district and through out faith we were able to move. I raised my daughter to be a high achiever and I will not apologise for that either. She has always gone for that brass ring and that is a good thing. We were always on our game even in grade school. Things got serious on Junior High for success in Junior high is the building block for high school. High School effort pays off in University placement.

Sabrina played trumpet in grade school, made first chair in Junior high and took clarinet (an instrument she bought and paid for herself) as a second instrument. She loved band but let it pass for the greater challenges of high school. She also played basketball in a city league through grade school and junior high and in an organised neighbourhood soft ball league in Junior high and High school.

High school brought bigger fish to fry and she made the hard choice to table band and basketball. High school brought about leadership training opportunities in Student Council, Student Congress and Patriots Relate, three well respected student organisations. She has earned her Activity letter. Striving for personal physical fitness she has earned her Varsity Athletic letters in both Track and Cross Country. She is carrying a 3.97 going into her last semester of high school and has earned her Academic letter as well.

Sabrina has a strong faith in God and in Jesus Christ and has found her own Church community. She is active in the youth group there, using a Strong's Concordance to write and deliver the monthly sermon for the Youth Invasion Service. As a fourth year Spanish student she is also writing her sermon in Spanish, pushing her convictions on the real meaning of separation of Church and state to their outmost limits. She studies the Bible in Spanish and sings Spanish praise and worship in her spare time.

Her hard work has paid off as she will be able to attend the UNIVERSITY of her choice and earn a Masters degree in the field of her choosing.

I am damn proud of my daughter and proud of anyone having the grit it takes to realize their dreams and beyond.

This was written for and about my daughter and is not directed against any lurkers. So you lurkers can stop the SNOWSTORM in your mind.... Sometimes you can manage to snow even yourself. I will put this in simple concise terms:
MY DAUGHTER IS MY HERO!
THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

this is an oldie but a goodie

2006-07-08T23:25:00.000-04:00

Don't you hate it when the clerk thinks she knows more than you do?
Me: Do you take MasterCard? Your sister store that is half the size of this one in Port Rowan takes Visa
Clerk: No, we just take Interac
Me: Strange, Value-Mart down the road takes Interac, MasterCard and Visa.
Clerk: No they just take Interac like we do.
Me: I have used my MasterCard there several times.

I would know, I shop there.... HERE IS YOUR SIGN!

Interac is the Canadian debit card system Interac is taken just about everywhere BUT Tim Hortin's. (Tim claims taking Interac would slow down his busy business.)

My U. S. MasterCard is a debit card and I get hit with a $1.75 charge to withdraw Canadian cash.... I guess when all I have is my Debit Card I will be shopping at Value-Mart.

My head is going to explode!!!!!

2006-07-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

My head is going to explode!!!!!

The fat man bought all this beef (half a cow) at hanging weight and is selling half of it off at cut and wrapped weight which nets at about a 30-40% loss on the other half...

He is now scrambling to figure out how to blame anyone but himself for his lunacy. Crap just last week he told me that cows sell at hanging weight and pigs at dressed weight....

He says he is just going to explain it to the co-worker.... but that is a joke as she is an alcoholic drug addict and he agreed to take payments... We well be lucky to see any of that cash let alone more than he originally told her. She kept telling him he was wrong, that it was not enough money but when he INSISTED the math was right she got tired of arguing and took the deal....

There is close to a 100# difference between the hanging weight and what was cut and wrapped which means we are out roughly $150. and that is if the alcoholic drug addict actually pays what she agreed to pay.

When he can't pay for the van and they come and get the sucker I hope it was worth it to feed Black Angus steak to half of Norfolk.

I did not spend one thin dime of his money today when I was out with the van all morning.... However he thought he could afford for us to go out for ice cream tonight. Like the alcoholic drug addict I got tired of arguing and took the deal....

So it's another day another dollar.... a.k.a making my nickle "moo"!

2006-07-07T13:02:00.000-04:00

So it's another day another dollar.... I have posted our "meat situation" on yahoo and it looks like I am now a meat dealer. We have some positive hits on this meat, so we will have grocery $$ this week after all BUT In the midst of all this fb decides we need to go out for a $40 dinner last night (I am STILL trying to figure out WHAT he is going to give up to afford this van).

I hate going out for dinner when I have already cooked it saves me nothing as I still had kitchen to clean from prep yesterday and I will have a kitchen to clean from dinner tonight WHY DOES HE HOT GET THIS ONE????? Probably because he has not washed a dish in a year and a half....

Anyway before desert (included as OF COURSE we were at a buffet) I did ask him if this was our "anniversary dinner" as it is out first meal out since the 30th and I will say he WAS quite embarrassed as his oversight.... It didn't last long though as we went quick grocery shopping afterwards (remember he needed a half lunch today that I had nothing for) and he was concerned that I was buying the Whiskas until I assured him I was buying them with MY $$.

We then went for a look at a pet shop and he was actually trying to talk me into buying a couple of rats (guilt I tell ya... everything is a rollercoster when your husband is bi-polar) but I didn't have any money after buying the Whiskas and besides I didn't want those rats I want the rats that have yet to come into the store in Simcoe....LOL I even confessed that I had been calling them and checking...

We had previously discussed getting another Hamster.... I was winging it on taking an OK to get a hamster as license to get TWO rats. If I can find a way to swing that cage I saw last night I will have me 2 rats and a hamster soon.

The chocolate brown teddy bear hams they had there were really cute, like drop dead cute, I might even take one of those instead of the black teddy bear I have been wanting. (If I get the ham first I won't end up with the rats so I have to do this right) The cage set up I have now is just big enough for 2 rats... it will drive fb nuts and he will want them to be in something bigger... When we get (or build) something bigger THEN we can get the Ham, as we will have an empty cage. If we get the Ham first we would have to get (or build) a cage to get rats (which won't happen)... See how that works....

I also made "wood stove soup" from Sundays ham bone yesterday so I do have a good lunch today... and HORRAY we have bread!

beef beef and more beef

2006-07-06T17:39:00.000-04:00

Well we're stuck with the beef

fatboys "big recovery plan" is for me to try and sell of 50-75lbs @ $3Lb on the London and Hamelton Buy/Sell/Trade yahoo sites. It's back to the "Freak-out Unknown Zone" for me! He came in and ate tomorrows bread and complained that the Salami that he said was bad and made him sick was no longer here.... I told him to go chase down the garbage truck for it.... THAT got me an earfull of profanity....

oh freaking well he ate tomorrow's sandwich today AS IF his 4 sandwich lunch was not enough today...
he has to stop for a mid afternoon snack to EAT again
I haven't had any bread all week so he could have a sandwich tomorrow at break (there is a BBQ lunch that they voted on insted of the boss throwing a family BBQ) so he does not need a "full" lunch tomorrow, but a sandwich for breakfast would be nice.... oh freaking well... oh freaking well... oh freaking well...

I've got a beef....

2006-07-06T12:41:00.000-04:00

I've got a beef....

Before fb decided to "adopt" this van (that is bleeding us dry) he put in for a side of beef.... Fom the start this co-worker of his wanted to split it... so we were splitting a side of beef (that honestly we can't afford tight now, but don't tel that to the fatman) anyway this co-worker decided she didn't really want her full share so she makes arrangements with 2 other co-workers to split her half of the half (one of whom is a little wishy-washy so it might end up 2-way split on that side) Everyone stands in agreement...

So how we have a half of beef split in half with one half of that split three ways... Talk about a meat cutters nightmare.... so we get the whole cutting order together (with the other two making their concessions to the original splitter to ease things up a little.) EVERYONE confirms that they want "in" and we place the cutting order TUESDAY EVENING...

Fast forward to Wednesday morning...

The original splitter claims to have found beef at half this price (but can she CHEW IT???...remember my rubber chickens? LOL if this is even true) Needless to say she is OUT. Splitter #2 agrees to step up to half of the half and splitter #3 is now wishy-washy once again. The beef will be ready to to Saturday and of we get stuck for wishy-washy's share there will be NO additional grocery money this week.

Considering I only spent $25 on groceries last week this is a freaking bad joke.... I already have given up entire food groups to get fb through this week with lunches and next week my lunch challenge will be making fb's sandwiches minus the bread, lunch-meat and cheese... This is especially bad as there is no more fruit or chips either. I wonder how an ALL-BEEF lunch will sit with him....LOL

The cats need Wiskas I do have a stash for that but somehow I am going to have to get to Wally-World w/o fb knowing it and I really don't want to risk a muffler ticket (because of course he hasn't crawled under the old van yet) to quiet that.... If I buy the Wiskas locally we get majorly ripped off.... My money didn't come until the 9th last month and if we factor in the holiday and the way this month falls I don't expect to see it before the 12th this month... so there is no putting off the Wiskas...LOL without Wiskas the cats have no incentive to come in for the night...LOL LOL LOL

Moving monday morning Saga

2006-07-03T12:15:00.000-04:00

I was going to call it "Moving Monday" but some BRAT posted a pic while I was typing my usual morning saga.... (for those of you bloggers I have lost I crosspost from my womans group)

Yea so I stopped making excuses and went out and and walked this morning... In the about half hour I was out the temp went up from 20° - 22° (68°-73°) which seems cool but the humidity is high and it is hazy so I was sweating up a storm.... sweating, singing, walking, dancing, cramping and wheezing Oh yea, I was quite a site out there...

Now I don't know how you ladies are going to take this.... but those of you that thought you were eating my cookies yesterday.... there were no cookies it ended up being a Key Lime Pie as when I went into the baking box I found all the Pie fixings so I did that instead. And orange jello with fresh orange pieces and orange zest (of which fb made a point of spitting out every piece of orange zest he came across.... that's OK his Mum knew he was just being a butthead.

He calls me compulsive but he has spent every penny we have this week. Off the top if my head I know even if he eats NO cheese at night he is a slice short for his lunches for the week but if I only eat the two heals and one additional slice of bread we have enough bread. We sure didn't need Dairy Queen last night especially after just eating pie (and remember we had Dairy Queen Sarurday as well and Andy's Ice Cream On Thursday. I didn't even want anything, but I wanted a fight less so I got an orange bar because they are CHEAP.... He called me a martyr all the way home.

By only getting the orange bar it left him with $15 for gas today... Had I gotten what he wanted me to get he wouldn't have even had that... My choice had I been give one would have been to get a loaf of bread and a package of cheese.... But I am wrong for being practical like that, it just starts a fight... remember I have been branded the compulsive one....

cookie crumbles and forgotton details

2006-07-02T09:49:00.000-04:00

Today we are supposed to take Momma-Lou to Church and bring her home for a BBQ. fb has insisted nothing fancy.... LOL it is more like nothing nothing as we have yet to shop for this dinner (and I know he won't be getting up early to do it). Our hours are all whacked out from that airport run yesterday.

Stompin Tom in concert last night was fun it drove fb nuts that I watched it all three times but he listens to the same CD like that so I asked what is the difference was... He said, "The difference is he is the King" (All I could think was the cats already call him that, and not in a nice way).

I think I am going to make some jello and bake a batch of cookies as I can probably come up with the ingredients to do that... nothing fancy, ya know...

Today is the day I am going to slip it into the conversation about his forgetting our Anniversary... All I need is for Mum to comment on the flowers by the porch... and I can reply I did that for our Anniversary. he needs to know but i don't need a confrontation over it.

I REALLY need a watering can I hope I can get him to stop at Tractor Supply today... I am lazy I really want two but I won't part with the extra $5 because I am also cheap, even cheaper when it is someting to make my life easier. I wish we had some Miracle Grow... I am finding I like the flowers out there as I can see them from the kitchen sink.

OK ladies there is coffee and soon there will be cookies too, if I can decide which ones I am going to make.

2006-07-02T00:43:00.000-04:00

Because of the gift of "timeshift cable" I am now watching STOMPIN TOM for the second of the three times we are going to be able to see the Canada Day Concert tonight...

LOL He is just starting with the Newfie Jokes **WINK**
and remember... Catsup loves Potatos

Time to HIT IT

2006-07-01T02:46:00.000-04:00

Now aren't ya'll wondering what (or who) I want to hit???? I have been sitting here falling asleep waiting for the washer to spin out so there will be clean work clothes for fb when he makes that airport run at three freaking AM...

LOL I think I'll go for the ride just to bug him.... after today me thinks he deserves it

(there is Rhubarb cake on the stove, just cut away from the part fb stuck his thumb in... he must have thought it was plum pie, and his name was Jack)
No not flying... Just picking up a shipment from Florida He was asked to do this favour and pick up 4 boxes of herbs because the basil was needed for todays packing...

2006-06-30T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm here taking a little "hydration break" as I am trying to plant some flowers in the yard and this has already turned into way more work than I wanted to do today. It is only 23°/74° but I am very fat and already don't do up and down well at all (or down on my bad knees).

I was trying to plant from a chair but the front feet keep digging into the grass so that was not working for me at all. I tried putting the throw-a-way pots on the front two legs of the chair.... but I crashed right through them.

I hereby declare this day to be "International Are We Forgetting Something Day" as I just know fb has completely forgotten our anniversary. he picked a huge fight the other night and is doing the pretending it didn't happen thing. I wonder if the flowers in the yard will jar him. I am hoping to bake a from scratch rhubarb cake too but I might run out of energy.... If I do, there is always tomorrow as he invited his Mum for Sunday dinner.

I should pull out some pork chops or something for dinner tonight I guess. He brought home a bucket of chicken last night so I am thinking his surprising me with dinner out is probably out of reach. Besides we have a van to support now and according to yesterdays mail it seems they UNDERQUOTED his insurance by about $50/MO. I am livid, he is like what can you do.

I am still trying to figure out what he is going to GIVE UP to afford this van.... Between the bucket of chicken, going out for ice cream and stopping for strawberries honey and butter tarts he blew $40 bucks yesterday on basically nothing. Chicken is nothing when I still have to make him 2 double cheeseburgers because now "chicken does not fill him up".

fat times

2006-06-28T09:29:00.000-04:00

fat times

At last my life makes sense! You HAVE to read beyond "the common email forward" to my time warp comments at the end

____________________________________________________

Home Economics in the 50s

The following is from an actual 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and kiss, letting him know you're glad to see him.

6. SOME DONT'S: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a slow, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. LISTEN TO HIM: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. THE GOAL: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WELCOME TO 2000!

(LOL you can skip this part and proceed to my time warp)

1. HAVE DINNER READY: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. PREPARE YOURSELF: Make sure to change out of your work clothes into something comfortable. Who cares if he likes it or not . . .after all, it's most likely his T-shirt and boxers.

3. CLEAR AWAY CLUTTER: Yeah right! Tell the kids and your husband if they want maid service, they better call one!

4. PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo.

5. MINIMIZE THE NOISE: Yell to him over the loud music your kids are playing, that this is what you had to put up with while he was gone. And mention that it was his decision to buy the kids a new CD player in the first place.

6. SOME Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

7. MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

8. LISTEN TO HIM: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. MAKE THE EVENING HIS: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase "Girls' Night Out!"

10. THE GOAL: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, it revolves around you.

Author Unknown_______________________________________________________________________

Time warp....

Yep I'm living in the 50's However I have to add the following

TRUE Home Economics

I am expected to Feed my husband a months worth of food each week with a weekly 50's grocery budget, otherwise every financial setback falls solely on my shoulders.

He is not happy and throws tantrums unless he has 4 sandwiches, chips and snacks each day in his lunch and over a pound of meat each night on his dinner plate.

We have to have PACKAGES of name brand hot dogs on hand for snacking or he eats up all the lunch bologna (which seriously hampers the 4 sandwich lunch thing), gallons of milk and containers of oatmeal (he eats cold oatmeal with by the pint). When it comes to bologna and hot dogs if it is not Schneider's he throws a fit. This week he was complaining that we didn't have any cookies.... Like he needs cookies. I will be baking now....

He complains of every dollar spent yet tells me I don't know how to LIVE if I get caught cutting any corners.... Then the best part no matter if I cut corners or buy the best..... It is always my jewish roots at fault.

I guess I should be thankful at least that I didn't MAKE him fat.... He blames his first wife for that.

opening message

2006-04-23T19:24:00.000-04:00

testing

10 bucks my butt

2006-03-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

10 bucks my butt
Fathead had a bad day at work yesterday so of course I could do no right… It was a bad day for me to use the $$ I had saved on my card to get a pair of lace up shoes but it was already done and how did I know that?
He had given me $80 for groceries and somehow I managed not to buy a single thing he liked. (This was after I was accused of not buying groceries at all. So of course I proceeded to get everything out and back out and display it on the table.
Apple by apple…. Yogurt by yogurt… Everything but the tow boxes of microwave popcorn I dropped off at the nursing home for his mother…
Well he won't look at that, but wants to go through the recipients (he never learns, we have played this game before). First off Sobeys receipt as they were having a $1 sale, and had chicken thighs at $0.88. There is the Salami on there at $3.19 a package. I have to point out that it is his favorite brand (Schneiders) then he bucks the $3.19 so I point out the $1coupons at the bottom of the receipt and that they match the salami pack for receipt. Then it is the "tortillas"…he asks why did I buy those I know he does not like that stuff. I have to tell him that they are his favorite whole wheat flat breads and that they ring up as tortillas and always have. Then comes the cat food complaint…. I am used to that, he loves to complain that the cats have to eat but refuses to re-home them. Somehow he managed to not notice the yogurt which is a good thing as I only bought enough to cover his lunches. Then it is the A&P receipt and my $6.79 coffee. He has to point out that the canned coffee at Tim Hortins is only $4.99… I buck back that for $4.99 you get 369g of Timmies coffee and I got 900g at A&P for on sale for $6.79. This receipt included paper towels and celery. On to Zellers where I got the shoes, volume toilet paper and clearance Band-Aids for the sore on my nose that won't heal.
This morning he tells me he needs $3 and he knows I have it as I had only spent $70 cash… I told him that he needed to do the math again gave him all my change (which won't equal that). I then sat down with yesterday's receipts and prepared the following report.
Cash
Credit
Sobeys
$61.34
A&P
$10.49
Zellers
$25.00
$13.19
Total
$86.34
$23.68
I added a note to the bottom that when I cashed his winner free coffee that I also spent $0.99 + tax on a muffin.
Now remember he gave me $80 for groceries where is the $10 I had left? 10 bucks my butt

Ode to the rubber chicken

2006-02-28T19:41:00.000-05:00

Remember that trip to the Food basics I made last week where I bought the six little chickens that were on sale for 99 lb. Well I had this discussion on how stewing chickens were 5-6 lbs in the States and these were all around 2 lbs. He makes a crack about how Americans super-size everything and that is why they are smaller.. I remember laughing to myself thinking I should just cook one and toss those words right back into his super-sized lap.
So anyway being the size of a US fryer I think I can just season two and pop them into the oven and bake them. My first clue should have been the lack of browning but some olive oil and lime and browned right up. Fatboy wanted to run after work and do taxes so he just wanted to pull off a drumstick or two and eat later. Well the drumstick wouldn't just pull off he tried first to tell me that they weren't done but considering the time they were baking that was just not possible. So a pair of kitchen sheers later he is holding the rubber drumstick attempting to bite the thing attempting as it was rubber all right.

Now Mr Chicken (yea his father farmed chickens when he was a kid too) has now identified the chickens that were just "not Super-sized the American way" as laying hens and suggested in the future they be soup. We went and had the taxes done and Subway saved dinner.
I figured it wouldn't effect a boiled chicken to be roasted first other than the fact that there would be less the fat so I then boiled them last night, chilled them and boiled them again today. Those roasted, rubber, boiled, and boiled again stripped stewing chickens are now some mighty fine Chicken and dumplings.

And now I am boiling the bones again. Just to see if I can get some more broth

Pizza Conys and Bennys board....

2006-02-20T09:13:00.000-05:00

Are you guys NUTS???? the BEST PIZZA in Michigan is Pizza Papalis When I was growing up it was the ORIGIONAL ROMANOS PIZZA of Farmington, where 9 Mile, Grand River and Orchard lake all meet. Oh how times change, it is now the Ardmore Shoe Repair.There is no Pizza Papalis in Canada although we had a Chicago style pizza once in St Catharines (A city in the Niagara Falls area) TheFATguy and I don't eat a lot of pizza For what pizza runs (cheese is higher in Canada) you can get Chinese buffet....LOL TheFATguy lives for Chinese buffet. The town we live in now Delhi, has two Canadian Pizza Chains Godfathers and New Orleans this Godfathers does not feature Panzerotti's (the Canadian equivalent of the Calzone) so we usually get New Orleans (and we usually get Panzerotti's LOL. As for pizza I thnk they are about the same I have a slight preference for New Orleans while I have a nutty neighbour that swears by Godfathers. There is an independent 2 blocks from me that sells slices but they are CRAP.... There is also another independent downtown "The Pizza House" that I have heard good things about but not tried. THis biggest Pizza Chain in Ontario is Pizza Pizza but there is not one here.I should add my nutty neighbours name is Sharon Bohar (as she says, one letter away from the coffee bean) of Delhi, On.... Now I can tell her I talked about her on the Internet.... perhaps one day she will "google herself" and find this posted on bennys board.In three weeks we move to a smaller town, Langton.... It has NO PIZZA JOINTS but there is ONE BAR and I think they might sell Pizza, I am not sure but I do know they have food (and it is the only resturant in that town as well). Don't worry about me they have high speed internet and that was my main concern and Iwill have a faster high speed connection than I do now Coney Dogs are a US thing I haven't found them in Canada although there are A&W's in some of the big cities according to their website they are Burger joints and don't have hotdogs. I have looked in several grocery stores for HOT DOG CHILLI and I have NOT been sucessful in the search..... the last time I made Coneys at home I had to make beanless Chilli from scratch.... very good but a LOT of bother for a simple hot dog dinner....LOL

Superbowl Sunday at the FAT house

2006-02-06T09:22:00.000-05:00

On the way back from the Sunday Buffet romp, I ran into the IGA for bread and potatoes. Upon my return to the van fatboy asked where the Super Bowl snacks were..... I replied, "You ate them at the Buffet.... afterall there is no money tree in the greenhouse at your work." I could tell how disappointed he was....

Well 6pm rolls around and fatboy is complaining of hunger so I look around me and get some ideas.....

I see some old tortillas, a jar of my home canned PEARadise salsa, some crescent rolls, a package of breakfast sausage, a brownie mix, popcorn.

So I heat oil, cut the old tortillas into sixths and start deep frying them while heating the oven, mixing brownies, and pan frying the sausage. I also cut the crescent triangles in half. as soon as the sausage is brown I place in the freezer for a fast cool off. tortillas out... tortillas in... it's a process when you cut each one into 6 pieces.... brownies in the oven wrap sausages in crescent triangles and bake those too. Save extra crescent dough for experiment.... not bad if you fry it and roll the result in cinnamon and sugar... Oh yea and I popped the corn too.
FIVE MINAUTES before I serve this almost Surprise Superbowl buffet, fatboy's boss calls and asks him to go get an emergency shipment from the airport...

So I throw the mess into bags and pans and we take it into the van with us (what fatboy didn't scarf down while getting dressed )

I decided to go for the ride. We go first to get the work van and the customs papers. Then we go all the way to the Airport, fighting bad roads all to find the shipment was bumped off the plane for Valentines Day flowers and wouldn't be sent for another 24 hours.

We fight patches of bad roads all the way back it ends up being a six hour ride... fatboy complained how he was loosing sleep for this senseless trip and I said yea and it wrecked our Superbowl party too.... To which fatboy replied...."Dear we don't watch football"